No Bake Lose the House and Senate Pie

[Gently Used Deal]

Just in time for the holidays, this pie is rich, smooth, easily attacked from the right, and features a remarkably apathetic base. Perfect for GOP victory parties, tea in the Reagan Library, or a midnite snack for Glenn Beck. Delightfully displays the fears, hollow rhetoric, and incremental change that typify post-Reagan Democrats in the eyes of independent voters.

Prep time is long, but the results are oh so predictable.


Ingredients:

Crust:

1 cup afghani quagmire (adjust to taste)
1 cup lingering iraqi occupation
3 dried guantanamo bay leaves
1 large wall street bailout

Filling:

2 cups pre-compromised healthcare reform
1/4 cup bitter joementum
1 cooperative montanan
1 crafty north dakotan
2 vulnerable mainers
1 tablespoon misdistilled lessons from failed Clinton plan
1 cup overcondensed polling data
1/4 cup raw miscategorized public opinion research
dash of misconjured bipartisanship

Optional: one peeled public plan


Directions:

Slowly and deliberately mix crust ingredients on global stage. Using a silver spoon, glaze crust with wall street bailout. Let stand in a warm, dry place for six months.

In a transparent campaign fund, combine filling ingredients until smooth. Allow insurance lobbyists to sift out any robust particles. Drop conservatively onto hardened, unyielding middle eastern crust. Resist temptation to use successful Social Security and Medicare mold for real reforms that touch all Americans. Cover, and refrigerate for six more months.

After crossing fingers for a dramatic economic rebound, remove delicious pie from refrigerator in the fall of 2010. Maintain complete air of confidence that incremental healthcare reforms are major achievements, and talk endlessly about them. Claim credit for thwarting another Great Depression. Poke fun of John Boehner’s permanent tan.

Stand back and watch your majorities disappear like magic!

Bon appetit.

[blue neen]

1. We can't have dessert, because you ate the sour grapes.

Pity.

[Gently Used Deal]

3. Read My Lips

We don't have to follow the recipe.

[blue neen]

7. Oh, I thought maybe you were going to say, "No new taxes!"

You're not George Bush, are you?



edited for typo

[Gently Used Deal]

10. only on all hallow's eve...

[crim son]

2. "Vulnerable Mainers"?

[Gently Used Deal]

6. The Senators

Public option supported by nearly 70% of mainers. Obama crushes McCain. Both of them are vulnerable.

[crim son]

15. I know who you are referring to.

Fortunately for them both they have opposed the right to choose & gay marriage,while supporting the war and the shrub. Every now and then they stand up for the people when their jobs are at stake. Clearly they don't believe that's the case now and neither do I. I wish them gone though, I sincerely do.

[noiretextatique]

4. yummy

i don't like it, but it's a pretty good description of the status quo.

[Skittles]

5. "misdistilled"?

sounds like something a repuke would write

[Gently Used Deal]

8. New Dealer Here

Misdistilled:

BC Dems lost majorities because Clintons couldn't deliver HC Reform, the key is passing anything and calling it reform.

to paraphase abe lincoln:

This legislation is looking like a soup made from the shadow of a crow that died of starvation.

[Skittles]

13. however badly Dems have handled anything

it doesn't even come close to approaching the garbage repukes have given us

[Dr Robert]

9. is this a Pizza Pie you're making? we like Tombstone round here...

[Gently Used Deal]

11. Obama as Wyatt Earp just came to mind.... thanks....

[Dr Robert]

12. Repukes are the Clantons

[imdjh]

14. Breaking news; the war is a good paying job. Healthcare and domestic jobs are the issue of import.

Anybody who doesn't like that, doesn't like the reality that the military and contractors we have in the wars are largely people who are making more money right now than they can or COULD make in the US in good times or bad. The money that's being stolen outright is an important issue, but not as important as what is NOT happening here at home.

[Gently Used Deal]

16. agreed

Imagine how bad it would have gotten if LBJ half assed medicare as a goodie bag for insurance companies, didn't do civil rights, didn't start the great society.

Vietnam killed him - but his legacy goes way beyond it because of the awesome record he compiled at home.